Tuesday, September 15, 2015

S7 E12: One Last Ride

Score: 2 / 3

~30:40 at Joe Biden's party.

Leslie: Anyway, yes, the point is - I do like working at interior; I love it! But I'm always looking for new challenges. Why do you ask?
Janet (from the DNC): There's a rumor that the governor of Indiana isn't going to run again, and my friends at the DNC are very interested in you as a candidate.
Leslie: For governor of Indiana!? Somebody's been reading my Kindergarten dream journal!
Janet: What do you think? I'll call you next week so we can talk about it...?

- April talks to Leslie about having children, but this exchange involves Andy and Ben too much to count.
- Leslie proposes "Still swinging! Parks gang reunites for one last bang!" as an article title, but this conversation doesn't go long enough.
- Ann advises Leslie about dying her hair.
- April inquires if Ann is the biological mother of her children.

[For an episode as long as this, I thought it would obliterate the Bechdel test but really it just squeaks through.]

S7 E11: Two Funerals

Score: 0 / 3

- April spends the episode with Ben and Jerry looking for a mayor. She interacts with Mona Lisa and Joan, but not for long enough.
- Donna spends the episode with Andy, consoling Ron.
- Leslie spends the episode with Tom, helping him propose to Lucy.

S7 E10: The Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show

Score: 0 / 3

This entire episode is driven by Andy and is comprised almost entirely of interactions between him and other characters, both in and out of their own show-within-a-show characters.

S7 E9: Pie-Mary

Score: 3 / 3
~0:15 in Leslie & Ben's house. Jennifer Barclay has come by in a poncho.

Jennifer: Leslie, you ready?
Leslie: Me, Leslie?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Leslie: I was an actual candidate, so I feel like I can handle being a candidate's wife. I know all the issues inside and out!

[They go on, talking about the role of a wife in an election.]

- Elise Yarktin from the Indiana Organization of Women confronts Leslie about her decision to join the Pie-Mary.
- Joan Callamezzo has Sasha Dunkirk, Marsha Langman, Brandi Maxxxx and Elise Yarktin on Pawnee Today; Marshall Langman and Kipp Bunthart also participate, but the conversation is mostly among the women and regards Leslie Knope, the Pie-Mary and feminism.

S7 E8: Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes To Washington

Score: 3 / 3

0:00 on the third floor of City Hall.

Leslie: Okay, so the central question that these senators are gonna be asking is "Why should we invest in the National Parks Service?" April!
April: Well, it is simple Leslie. In today's fast-paced society, national parks are still the best place for a full-moon werewolf transformation.
Leslie: I know you're kidding, but I also know you're prepared. We are gonna do great! How psyched are you for this trip? April! Are you super-psyched!?
April: Yeah... also you have lipstick on your teeth.

- Leslie asks April about her future during "unstructured chat time" at the airport; they talk about Washington, DC; Leslie apologizes to April; Leslie introduces April to Alyssa from the career center; they recap from April's conversation with Alyssa.
- Leslie and April have meetings with Senator Barbara Boxer and Kirsten Gillibrand.
- Leslie get lunch with Madeleine Albright and they discuss Leslie's habits as a friend.

Monday, September 14, 2015

S7 E7: Donna and Joe

Score: 3 / 3

~0:45 in the church.

Donna: April, walk with me. So, I chose you as my bridesmaid because you've become one of my best friends and I love you like a sister.
April: Ew.
Donna: ____ because you're tough. My family arrives tonight-
April: I know. And they're all set with their welcome bags [and I told your brother LeVondrious he is not welcome.

[They go on, and though April did refer to LeVondrious, this conversation is about preparing for the Meagle family.]

- Donna describes each of her bridesmaids.
- Donna thanks April for keeping the wedding calm.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

S7 E6: Save JJ's

Score: 1 / 3

~10:59 in Beverly Hills.

[Donna and Tom are lounging at a pool.]

Trish: So for a basic elbow-bedazzling, it's $140, custom art starts at $250.
Donna: I would like three big-ass diamonds, surrounded by their own set of tiny-ass diamonds.
Trish: That would fall under our "supreme selection". $600.
[Donna: Thomas, what do you suggest?
Tom: Uhhhh... treat yo' self.]
Donna: Trish, the gentleman is right. I'm gon' go ahead and treat myself.

S7 E5: GryzzlBox

Score: 2 / 3

~2:37 at City Hall, 3rd floor.

Donna: Knope, I need to talk to you.
Leslie: What's up?
Donna: I know I technically work for Gryzzl, but these fools have crossed a line. Have you gotten one of these GryzzlBoxes?
Leslie: Well, yeah, but I haven't opened it yet. I was going to send it back after I wrote a sternly-worded letter about how I cannot be bought with free gifts.

[This goes on as they search through their boxes.]

- April meets Jen, the new intern, and they talk about Jen's motives in taking the Parks and Recreation internship; later, April discourages Jen from sticking with it.

S7 E4: Leslie and Ron

Score: 0 / 3

- Leslie spends the entire episode with Ron.
- April and Donna barely speak throughout the episode.

S7 E3: William Henry Harrison

Score: 0 / 3

- Leslie spends the episode with Bill from the Pawnee Historical Society; granted, April is there, but they don't speak to each other.
- Donna spends the episode with Ron; granted, they meet Annabel, but they don't speak to each other long enough.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

S7 E2: Ron and Jammy

Score: 2 / 3

~2:30 outside city hall

April: Hi Joan. My name is April and I'm your biggest fan and I pretty much hate everyone. Will you sign your ninth memoir for me?
Joan: Well it would be my pleasure! You said your name is Glenn?
April: Yes, I did.
Joan: That's pretty.

- Donna describes Saturn's return to April.

Monday, August 17, 2015

S7 E1: 2017

Score: 2 / 3

~4:30 in the hallway at city hall.

Leslie: Uhh Jessica! Hi! Glad I caught you before you left. Just between you and me, what do you think your land might sell for tomorrow?
Jessica: Trevor said it'll probably be for about 90 million dollars! Ah! Woo!
Leslie: Wow!
Jessica: I know! I'm just- I'm so happy for me!

[This goes on; Leslie asks if Jessica would sell it to the federal government for a discount.]

- Donna and Leslie reconnect, though their conversation concerns Ron, Joe and Leslie's triplets (2 of whom are boys).
- Leslie makes a heartfelt plea to Jessica to donate the land.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

S6 E20: Moving Up

Score: 3 / 3

~4:58 at brunch

[Grant: This is Rebecca-]
Leslie: -Peruvian, I know. I know who you are; I've read all of your papers, and I had your poster on my wall when I was a kid.
Rebecca: What poster?
Leslie: I made a poster of you by blowing up your picture from the National Parks newsletter. I cut out your face and made it look like you were dunking over Charles Barkley.
Rebecca: My god...

- And perhaps most importantly, Michelle Obama helps persuade Leslie to take the National Parks job.
- An "Erica Weekstrong" laughs at Leslie's ambition when it comes to the Pawnee-Eagleton merger.

S6 E19: One in 8,000

Score: 0 / 3

- Leslie spends the episode with Ben, trying to keep calm about her being pregnant.
- April spends the episode with Andy, Craig and Jerry at a birthday party.
- Donna spends the episode with Ron and Joe volunteering at Ivy and Zoe's school.

S6 E18: Flu Season 2

Score: 3 / 3

~3:49 at the wine-tasting

April: Oh man... it takes two-hundred dollars to get certified. I wanted to make fun of stupid people while I get drunk: my two true passions.
Donna: You wanna futz with these fools, I will bankroll you.
April: Really?
Donna: Oh hell yeah, pimp. Sounds like fun!

- Leslie tries to buy the "Mariah needs to sing tonight" medicine from a pharmacist whose name tag appears to say "Kitty". Her name is confirmed in the credits as "Kitty Goodbye". What?

S6 E17: Prom

Score: 3 / 3
~2:25 in the conference room.

Leslie: All right, Allison. You were in charge of choosing the prom theme. Now, it has to be perfect - and magical - and look like a million bucks but cost zero bucks. So whaddaya got?
Allison: I was thinking the theme could be Fairy Tale. The theatre department did Into the Woods last year and we still have the scenery. I laid out some preliminary plans in this binder.
Leslie: Wow! ...are those... Jen Strotter colored tabs? I thought those were discontinued...!
Allison: They were. *I had to order them through some Mexican back-channels.*

[They go on.]

- Leslie tries to entice Allison into considering the April Ludgate Summer Solstice Druid Festival of Buffalo Wings Eating Contest (a summer internship April named); this conversation escalates onstage after the [internship] is assigned.
- Leslie instructs Allison on pulling the balloon drop rope.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

S6 E16: Galentine's Day

~4:00 in the Parks office, Leslie is trying to get closer to Donna and April.

Leslie: Work! You can work whenever, except for now, cause now is lady time!
April: You sound like a tampon commercial.
Leslie: I'm setting up an impromptu Galentine's Day!
April: Really?

[They go on.]

- At Galentine's Day (which includes Leslie, April, Donna, Evelyn, Shauna and Ethel Beavers) there are conversations about travel, television shows, assorted revelations and, eventually, Leslie's friendship rankings.
- Leslie confesses her ranking system to Ann.
- April and Donna give Leslie a stuffed bunny.

S6 E15: New Slogan

Score: 2 / 3

~5:50 at the press junket

Leslie: Joan, this slogan is a chance to give our newly-merged city a new identity; to really rebrand this town.
Joan: Yes, great question. I have been thinking of rebranding myself. What do you think about Juan Callamezzo?
Leslie: Isn't "Juan" a man's name?
Joan: No, it means "flower".

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

S6 E14: The Wall

Score: 2 / 3

~10:08 in the conference room, the youth commission regroups after the bee disaster.

April: No more press, okay? You just have to lay low for a while, I promise it'll all blow over.
Leslie: April, your confidence and your level-headedness is very moving to me, and I will follow your advice -- right after I go to the hospital and apologize to every victim in person.
April: Fine, but no cameras.
Leslie: Fine, I won't bring any.

- April apologizes to Leslie on behalf of the merge-opposers.

S6 E13: Anniversaries

Score: 2 / 3

~16:52 at Donna's desk.

April: Donna... Kyle did not write those things, okay? I did.
Donna (fake gasp): I know.
April: You do?
Donna: I checked what else that user had written. It was a review of a funeral home that said, "Great first date spot". I dragged Kyle in here to see if you'd come clean.

[Even if you argue this is too much about Kyle, the conversation goes on and the pair reconcile.]

- Joan and Leslie lead an interview with Rosie & Doug DeMarco about marriage - this probably doesn't pass because the exchanges usually end up including a quip about Doug.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

S6 E12: Ann and Chris

Score: 3 / 3
~3:05 at Ann's going away at the Pawnee Super Suites hotel:

Leslie: Okay, don't mention anything about the groundbreaking to Ann. Repeat that back to me.
April: "Tell Ann about the groundbreaking, frame Ann for murder, release a deadly virus into the water supply."
Leslie: Good.
(Leslie sees Ann)
Oh! Bon voyage, Ann!
Ann: Oh my God, this is amazing!

[This goes on.]

- The episode begins with a flashback to the very first conversation with Ann and Leslie, which is also the first conversation on the series that passes the test (though it doesn't include enough dialogue to count).
- Leslie confesses her plan to break ground to Ann.
- Leslie and Ann approach Kathryn Pinewood about accessing the defunct soda.
- Ann and April say goodbye and say they love each other.
- Leslie and Ann talk about their plans to talk on the phone frequently, then they break ground; later Leslie sees Ann (and Chris) off.

S6 E11: Farmers Market

Score: 0 / 3

- Leslie spends the episode with Ben talking about the farmers market.
- April spends the episode with Andy and Craig talking about music.
- Donna spends the episode with Ron, Tom and Jerry - the "wine and cheese club".
- Ann jumps into the "wine and cheese club" but doesn't speak with Donna long enough to pass the test - and, in any event, her complaints are mostly about Chris.

S6 E10: New Beginnings

Score: 1 / 3

~1:37 in the conference room, Leslie has just noticed the spirit dogs board.

Leslie: You guys think I'm a border collie? I'm so obviously a cocker spaniel.
April: The spirit dog committee ruled on that weeks ago. There is no appeals process.
[April and Donna laugh, Leslie tries to jump in.]
Leslie: Haha, totally, I'm in on the joke. I get it. But maybe we should stop talking about your insane dog choices and get to work.
Donna: Classic border collie - has to control everything.

[That's it!]

S6 E9: Second Chunce

Score: 3 / 3
~2:54 in the court room, Leslie is showing Ingrid her new seat on city council.

Leslie: Oh my god, what is your life?
Ingrid: If it makes any difference, your work here was a real inspiration to me and I am going to do my best to continue your legacy.
Leslie: Well, I appreciate the sentiment.
[Leslie stares wistfully at her name placard.]
Ingrid: Leslie?
Leslie: Hm? I'm sorry, was I singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" out loud?
Ingrid: No, but would you like to? I studied opera at the Sorbonne, I would be happy to harmonize.
[They attempt, then give up and part.]

- Jennifer Barclay returns to consult Leslie about her next move; in another scene she tells her to set her sights higher.

S6 E8: The Cones of Dunshire

Score: 0 / 0

- April spends the episode talking to Ron about his cabin.
- Donna spends the episode talking to Tom (and sometimes Ron) about selling the cabin.
- Leslie spends the episode with Jamm and Ben.
- Ann does not appear.

S6 E7: Fluoride

Score: 3 / 3

~12:53 at Donna's desk

April: Hey, okay, are you still mad at me because of the poodle thing? It's just a dumb game, I could pick another dog.
Donna: I'm not mad about the choice, I'm mad about the reason. "Pretty, make-up"... is that all you know about me?
April: We don't hang out much. It's not like you know a ton about me.
Donna: You're beautiful, yet cold and aloof; you pride yourself on being a loner; you do not "obey", you choose to cooperate; when you stop baring your fangs to pick a mate, you choose for life; and you're fiercely loyal to your pack. Which makes you a rare black Siberian Husky.

- April asks Donna many questions in order to get to figure out her spirit dog; then proposes the Nova Scotia Toller, then a cat.

Monday, July 20, 2015

S6 E6: Recall Vote

~8:21 on Pawnee today; Joan welcomes Annabel Porter, "lifestyle guru".

Annabel: Hello, hello! It's me, I'm here! / Hi.
Joan: Yes, you are! Can I just say, as a journalist, I feel like we're best friends!
[they laugh]
Joan: Tell the audience about yourself!
Annabel: Well, I'm just a simple former phonebook model who found her calling! Y'know I'm not perfect: the average woman worries about what she looks like in a bathing suit - so does my nanny. So, I get it.
Joan: Annabel, what trends are - pardon the pun, but - trending?

[They go on to talk about trends.]

- Ann pulls Leslie away from getting a tattoo, though their conversation includes some interruptions from Ben; she forces Leslie to confront her defeat and urges her to focus on her active projects.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

S6 E5: Filibuster

Score: 2 / 3

~20:29 in the hallway outside the court room; Ben has just told Leslie that Ingrid earned the nomination to run against Leslie in the recall.

Leslie: Wow. Buzzkill.
Ingrid: I know you must hate me right now, Leslie - and that's justified - but I need to thank you for what you just did in there. Not the forceful urination, but the filibuster.
Leslie: Right, yeah.
Ingrid: It was incredibly courageous and it was selfless, and if I do win, I'm gonna have very big roller skates to fill. Can I take you out for a celebratory plate of - you call them "whaffles"?

[This goes on, briefly.]

This episode only passes in the eleventh hour because:
- Leslie spends the majority of the episode with Ben and then Jamm.
- Donna spends the episode with Ron.
- Ann and Nadia spend the episode with Tom and only talk to each other about him.
- April spends the episode with Andy.

S6 E4: Gin It Up!

Score: 3 / 3
~0:45 in the conference room.

Leslie: We all know that I cannot spend as much money on ads as my opponent, but I printed out 10,000 "don't" stickers and 10,000 question-mark stickers - that way if you see a sign that says "Recall Knope", all you need to do is add the question-mark and the "don't" and suddenly it reads "Recall Knope? Don't!"
Donna: Why don't you just put the "Don't" before "Recall Knope?"
Leslie: Yep, that's a much better idea.
April: Can I have these question mark stickers?

[This goes on.]

- Nadia asks for a permit from April for what she jokes is a slip-and-slide competition.
- Leslie confronts Donna regarding a tweet accidentally posted on the Parks account; then confronts her about her personal account's content; then Donna apologizes, describing her motives in letting off steam and distinguishing #BitchBoss and #BossBitch.

S6 E3: Doppelgängers

Score: 3 / 3

~4:06 at April's desk.

April: I'm sorry, was your name Jennifer?
Tynnyfer: No, it's Tynnyfer, with two Y's. It used to be Jennifer, but then I decided to re-brand myself. Oh wait, hang on - it's Xanex o'clock.
[Tynnyfer takes a Xanex out of a shiny pink bill box.]
April (now emulating Tynnyfer): Well, nice to meet you. My name's April. And I just wanted to say that your dress is so cute, it's bonks.
Tynnyfer: I saw my spinning instructor wearing it, and I was like "Shut up, where do I get that?"

[They go on to talk about spinning.]

- Ann introduces Leslie to her counterpart, Evelyn; then tells her that she's moving to Michigan.
- Leslie checks in with April and Tynnyfer, they share their nicknames.
- Leslie checks in with Evelyn and forces a sugar mustard cookie on her.
- April persuades Tynnyfer not to stick with the job.
- Leslie tests out her conversation with Ann on Evelyn; then tells Ann she's ready to talk.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

S6 E2: The Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic

Score: 3 / 3

~0:52 at the titular Pawnee-Eagleton Tip Off Classic press conference between Leslie and Ingrid de Forest (her Pawnee counterpart).

Leslie: As always, we would like to make a friendly wager with Eagleton. If you beat us this year, we will give you a basket of apples, from our Pawnee orchard.
Ingrid: Pesticides! Yuck!
Leslie: Oh, no, these are pesticide free! I ate one of these for breakfast this morning and I found a worm in it, so-! I bet someone feels pretty stupid right now.
Ingrid: Well, Leslie, I think we had similar ideas. If you win, Eagleton will give you this basket of oranges! Of course, it's silly to compare apples and oranges, but... what the heck. These are made of Swarovksi crystal and they're worth $700,000.

More: [two plotlines consist largely of conversations between Ann/April and Leslie/Ingrid about Bloomington and Eagleton's financial crisis, respectively; I've broken them down here and separated them with my favorite punctuation mark, the semicolon ;)

- April bemoans several circumstances around Ann driving her to Bloomington School of Veterinary Medicine; Ann leaves April with a tour guide (named Laura); Ann is frustrated to see April ditching the tour; later Ann brings April back to Laura; Ann and April debate the merits of Bloomington; Ann scolds April for allegedly giving up and they discuss following one's gut.
- Leslie relentlessly mocks Ingrid for Eagleton's financial crisis; Leslie insults Ingrid's intelligence directly; Leslie ironically welcomes Ingrid to Pawnee.

S6 E1: London: Parts 1 & 2

Score: like 5 out of 3

~7:38 in Leslie's office.

April: I have something. Remember phase 13: "Think outside of the box"?
Leslie: Of course! It was an amazing phase.
[Ben: Easily a top 5 phase.]
April: Well I thought outside of the box and I nominated you for this big award; it's called the "International Coalition of Women in Government", and you won.
[She hands over the paper work.]
April: There's, like, five winners and you get a big trophy or something.
[Chris: Oh my God, this is real! I just assumed you were lying.]
April: [Thank you.] But yeah, it's real. Anne Richards won it once. And Janet Napolitano, I think.
Leslie: Janet Napoli-frikkin-tano!? Oh my God. This is amazing and perfect! This is exactly the kind of big splashy thing that's gonna get the voters' attention! When is the ceremony?

[They go on. I'm content to ignore Ben and Chris' interjections because they don't de-rail the fact that this conversation is between April and Leslie about the award.]

- Leslie asks for April's help with her speech; then about Kathryn Pinewood's campaign to recall her.
- Ulee (the Danish recipient of the award, played by Heidi Klum) talks about how much her hometown loves her.
- April asks Khongordzol (the Mongolian recipient of the award) to take her home.
- Donna guesses that Ann is pregnant.
- Ann tells Leslie she's pregnant - Leslie mentions about her jetlag.
- Leslie and April report to Gretel that her slugs are gone.
- April thanks Leslie for her hard work and reads the nomination letter to her.

S5 E22: Are You Better Off?

Score: 3 / 3
~0:36 at (one of) Ron's cabins.

Leslie: Let's do an exercise. April - what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?
April: Easy! Most murders per capita, the guillotine was invented here, City Hall is run by the walrus mafia...
Leslie: Donna! Help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?
Donna: Cost of living is cheap. In about three years I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.

- Leslie and Kathryn Pinewood (Pawnee Restaurant Association) spar about the soda tax at the "Are You Better Off?" public forum, then later the Sweetums school lunch program.
- Brandi Maxxx thanks Leslie for contributing to her career successes at the same forum.
- Shauna asks questions at Leslie's press conference.

S5 E21: Swing Vote

Score: 0 / 0

- April spends the episode with Andy, Ben and Chris; she does talk to Julie the snow-cone vendor about the importance of math, but with only three exchanges.
- Leslie spends the episode with Jamm and Ron.
- Ann spends the episode with Tom and Mona Lisa; she and Mona Lisa only talk about Tom.

Friday, July 17, 2015

S5 E20: Jerry's Retirement

Score: 2 / 3

~1:00 in the Parks and Rec office.

Leslie: Hey, April, I'll be gone for the next nineteen-and-a-half hours, so can you water my plants in the office?
April: We are all out of water, actually. I'll have to use boiling hot milk.
Leslie: Are you really going to do that?
April: Yes.

- Gail invites Leslie to breakfast.

S5 E 19: Article Two

Score: 2 / 3

~4:05 in the courtyard.

Ann: JJ's diner put this old waffle iron up for auction; it is the perfect Breakfast Day gift for Leslie.
Donna: Breakfast Day?
[Interrupted with a direct-address]
Donna: You have to buy a present for every one of these?
Ann: She always tells me not to, but then she buys me something that's awesome and thoughtful and then I feel terrible!

[This goes on.]

S5 E18: Animal Control

Score: 3 / 3
~13:05 in the Parks and Rec office.

Leslie: April... I got a present for you!
April: I don't like lotion. I like my hands to be cracked and calloused like a railway worker.
Leslie: Whoa. Filled the bottles with fake blood, vinegar and mud.
April: Really? Thanks!

[Leslie goes on to persuade April to apply for the Animal Control job.]

- Leslie and April strategize about the confirmation hearings.
- April asks Leslie about her new rights affiliated with her new role.

S5 E17: Partridge

Score: 0 / 3

- Leslie spends the episode with Ben and only talks to his sister about him.
- Ann spends the episode with Chris.
- April and Donna spend the episode with the other men, never speaking to each other.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

S5 E16: Bailout

Score: 3 / 3

~5:01 in Ann's office.

April: I have to tell you a secret, but if you tell anyone I will kill you slowly with a giant syringe.
Ann: Good morning, April. What's your secret?
April: I'm thinking about applying to veterinary school in Bloomington.
Ann: Oh my God, April, that's great!
[April takes out a syringe.]
April: Whoa, where'd you get that?!

[They go on - April asks Ann to write a recommendation letter.]

- Ann asks April which Sex in the City character she would be.
- Brandi Maxxx thanks Leslie for supporting her career.
- Ann gives April her recommendation letter and offers her support.

S5 E15: Correspondents' Lunch

Score: 3 / 3

~5:26 at the Correspondents' Lunch.

Leslie: Well, well, well, well, well - if it isn't Kim Torlando from the Pawnee Sun! Do you happen to have a can opener? Because I'm about to open this on you.
[Leslie takes out a can labeled "Whoop Ass".]
Kim: Did you make that can of "Whoop Ass" for this exact moment!?
Leslie: Yeah. I came prepared.
Kim: I'd expect nothing less. Good luck with your speech!

[This goes on.]

- Leslie tells Donna that she suspects the Pawnee Sun has hacked her e-mail.
- Leslie and Donna trap Kim in her e-mail hacking at a press conference.

Monday, July 13, 2015

S5 E14: Leslie and Ben

Score: 2 / 3

~11:01 in Leslie's room; she is just trying on her wedding dress for the first time.

Ann: I gathered up all the meaningful bills, pictures, documents and memos from your career. What do you think? Is it okay?
Leslie: It is the most beautiful object I have ever seen. It is like the Ann Perkins of dresses.
Ann: Yayyy!
Leslie: It is amazing.

- There are tons of exchanges (April asking to adopt Ethel, Leslie assigning wedding planning tasks to April and Ann, etc.) that would pass if this episode didn't fly by so quickly - very few exchanges are actually more than three lines of dialogue.
- Ann asks Leslie to join her at city hall for champagne.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

S5 E13: Emergency Response

Score: 2 / 3

~14:43 in the court room (being used for the Emergency Preparedness Drill)

Leslie: Ladies and gentlemen, we are making some changes to the Knope Protocol. Ann, how much flu vaccine does the hospital still have?
Ann: Enough for 2,000 people.
Leslie: Great, why don't you tell the hospital director to flush them down the toilet.
Ann: You got it.

[Oddly, that's it. Leslie and Ann talk mostly about Jeremy Jamm, April spends the episode with Andy, Donna with Ben, Joan with Ron. But maybe we could construe that Leslie's fictional news reports are conversations among women about the flu.]

[I have no idea what this .gif is from but I'm determined to find out.]

S5 E12: Ann's Decision

Score: 3 / 3

~1:08 in Leslie's office.

Leslie: Hey! I have an idea for your blog: I think you should take yourself ice-skating.
Ann: That sounds fun.
Leslie: Yeah! We'll do a double date: you and you, and me and Ben. But I have to warn you, I am very good at ice-skating. I can do jumps. You know what, I probably shouldn't do that, I'd embarrass the both of you.
Ann: Actually, I know what my next activity's going to be and - it's a biggie! - I wanna be a mom.

[They discuss Ann's plan to become a mother which, incidentally, is more about her interest in motherhood than in finding a partner.]

- Ann and Leslie argue about Ann's decision to have a child without a partner. The subject implicitly but indirectly involves men.
- Later, Ann and Leslie apologize for jumping down each others' throats.

Friday, July 10, 2015

S5 E11: Women in Garbage

Score: 3 / 3

The very top in the conference room:

Paula (former councilwoman): Pleasure to be here, ladies. I didn't think anybody really cared about my time on the city council.
Leslie: Oh, we do. You were such an inspiration! Still going strong at 82!
[Paula blows her nose]
April: How old is that handkerchief?
Paula: Well, it's not a handkerchief, it's a receipt.

[This goes on with Leslie, April, Ann and Donna hearing from Paula about her experiences.]

- Ann babysits Zoe and Ivy; they pretend to be doctors (for imaginary patients who are all female).
- Leslie asks Shauna to keep things off the record if she and April can't transport the refrigerator.
- Ann takes the scissors away from Zoe and Ivy.
- Leslie and April bemoan the challenge of moving the fridge (although this is somewhat about them trying to make an impression on the sewage department - which is all men).
- Ann apologizes to Diane for letting her daughters get ahold of her scissors.

S5 E10: Two Parties

Score: 2 / 3

At Leslie's bachelorette party:

Leslie: ...I need your help.
Ann: You don't mean...
Leslie: I do.
Ann: No, I'm not doing that.

* In this, Leslie is asking for Ann and April to help her dig up the Wamapoke artifacts she threw in Lot 48 to stop the construction of a Paunch Burger.

- Leslie, April and Ann muse about the consequences if Leslie is caught.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

S5 E9: Ron and Diane

Score: 2 / 3

~8:45 @ Jerry's house.

Ann: Well, well, well. You want to come into Jerry's party - and why's that?
April: I need a place to deliver this baby, Ann! It's coming out of me right now, I'm pregnant!
[April breathes frantically.]
Ann: This is a lovely party thrown by a lovely man and his lovely family. There's no place for meanies!
April: Oh, forget it, I'm coming in.

[This continues with April failing to shove past Ann.]

- Leslie asks Diane what house she would be sorted into at Hogwarts, but the exchange doesn't go long enough.
- Leslie tells Tammy 2 to leave - the conversation immediately turns to Ron.
- Leslie and Tammy 2 fight over the keys in the dumpster - plenty of exchanges there.

* I give this episode a 2 because the conversation I transposed is about a party but ultimately about how April et al treat Jerry, because Leslie and Tammy 2's interactions boil down to being about Ron, and because Leslie and Diane's conversation is too brief. Every woman here is motivated by her complicated or misunderstood feelings towards men.

S5 E8: Pawnee Commons

Score: 0 / 3

Leslie spends the episode with Ben (and later, Wreston); Ann and Donna talk to Tom, but not each other; April spends the episode with Andy.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

S5 E7: Leslie vs. April

Score: 3 / 3

~3:30 in the conference room; April is practicing a presentation.

April: Washington, DC has more dog parks per capita than most cities. Pawnee only has two dog parks: this one, and that one - which is also an active parking lot.
Leslie: Can you say "per capita" again? I wanna take another picture of you saying "per capita".
April: Stop!
Leslie: I am so proud of you. Now stand next to the screen and think of all the strong female role models in your life.


- Leslie and April spar about the rights to lot 48.
- Leslie, April and Ann check out lot 14B and attempt to negotiate for lot 48.
- April asks Leslie to comment on Orin's play. [More about the play than Orin.]
- Ann mediates Leslie and April's fight.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

S5 E6: Ben's Parents

Score: 3 / 3

9:04 at Leslie's house

Ann: Everything okay?
Leslie: Nah, slight speed bump: everything is terrible, but, um, I'm going to fix it - with my secret weapon!
Ann: Okay, well I will make sure that everything else runs smoothly.
Leslie: Oh, Ann, you are such a good friend. You're a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk-ox. Thank you, ox, for keeping this ship afloat.

- Leslie introduces the quilt which Marlene loves, but which Ulani complains she is missing from. Then Julia complains that Ulani is on it.

S5 E5: Halloween Surprise

Score: 3 / 3

~1:20 at the house that Leslie will buy.

Martha (the realtor): So, three bedrooms, two baths, nice big backyard.
Leslie: But no trampoline room. Correct?
Martha: Correct. Like all houses in the world, there's no trampoline room.
Leslie: Mmm.

- Leslie tells Martha she'll take the house, then tells her again so that Ann can make the moment feel more dramatic with the help of music.
- Leslie asks Ann to offer a date with her as an auction item.
- Leslie has Martha take her back to the house for one last look.

S5 E4: Sex Education

Score: 3 / 3

~ 9:32 in the conference room. Leslie has called an emergency task force meeting.

Ann: Well, you're on city council now! Change the law!
Leslie: The people support this; I couldn't fight those numbers even if I wanted to! It's political suicide.
Ann: So we're just gonna do the thing we know doesn't work? Great plan.
Leslie: There's no other option, Ann, put away your sex toys and play with them on your own time!

- Ann urges Leslie to go with her beliefs before the meeting with the seniors.
- They return to this conversation before Leslie goes on "Ya' Heard? With Perd"